We had a fairly relaxing morning during which I was able to get some work done and Michele took yet another cold shower. :( We'll work with Alex here at the Bible House sometime in the next couple of days to work out the kinks in the "on-demand" water heating system.
We received a call from Tanya to meet her at the orphanage to pick up Pasha for his dental appointment at 2PM. It took a while to find Pasha in class, but he exited and we were off to the dentist's office. Michele stayed there with Pasha and Tanya and I went back to the Bible House to work a while.
An hour or so later, I received a call from Michele that Pasha's teeth were not that bad after all. The dentist filled one cavity and said the other one was not so bad and in a baby tooth. Of course, she took no xrays to confirm, so we will likely have him checked out again once we get back to the states. But, at least this was good news and we're not staring at a crown or root canal right off the bat. $40USD was not a bad sum to pay for the comfort Pasha now has.
After they were done at the dentist, Pasha, Tanya and Michele went back to the orphanage to see if they could meet up with Natasha. Michele was able to watch Natasha practice the dance routine that she and several other girls will perform at the 50 year anniversary celebration that will take place at the orphanage on October 9th. We're glad that we will be able to participate in that. Michele said Natasha danced beautifully and with much grace.
After Natasha was done, they went over to a cafe to have some food, since Pasha had not eaten breakfast and we had pulled him away for his dentail appointment before lunch. Needless to say, he was starving. I met them at the cafe and we sat and chatted for a while. We think Natasha is becoming more comfortable with us as she has started to use some English, which she does quite well. She showed us picture of her mother, brother and sister on her cell phone. All in all, it was a nice brief visit.
During this time, Tanya was running around getting more signatures. It turns out that the orphanage director had not actually signed one of the consent forms yesterday. He was not willing to do so until the regional inspector had given her approval for the refusal of adoption and separation documents signed by Jana. Tanya had those and brought them back to the orphanage for the director's signature, which he did. Then, it was back to the notary's office where we all signed the court request documents and then to the inspector's office to hand off some more papers, and finally we took the kids back to the orphanage for their study time. The regional inspectors are very sweet and came out to the car to give the kids both hugs. It turns out, one of them used to be a caregiver at the same orphanage, so knew both Pasha and Natasha.
So, we are ready to proceed, except for one thing, namely the "mess" of Pasha's paperwork. Unfortunately, his mother's last name on the birth certificate is different from the last name on the paperwork submitted when Pasha was surrendered to the state. This is a problem that has to be fixed before Tanya can go to the court to submit our adoption request. The regional inspectors and Tanya are not sure what to do, so please pray that they would be enlightened and that they would be able to find some paperwork which shows why the names are different (i.e. a marriage license or divorce decree or something like that).
Please also pray for the hearts of these kids. Not only for Pasha and Natasha, but for all in the orphan system. There are so few controls in place during their free time and they have no one really teaching them how to decide right from wrong. And the "wrong" is freely available and luring. Pray, too, that we would be able to have frank discussions with Pasha and Natasha about God's desire for them to have pure hearts and minds. We believe this to be really important as we set the right foundation for us as their parents, but more importantly for God to be their Heavenly Father. We can see that these are two sweet kids and hope that seeds that have been planted will start to grow.
That's it for now. Off to bed and hopeful for good news tomorrow on "Pasha's messy papers"!
Bruce & Michele
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Two Signatures...
We "enjoyed" another long day today. Sasha from Agape Ministries was here at the Bible House last night and we had a chance to meet him. He is very nice with excellent english. He invited us to his office this morning for their prayer meeting and then a chat about his ministry to orphans in Ukraine.
The gentleman (Eric) who was to drive us to the Agape offices finally arrived after fighting traffic a little after 9AM. By that time, the police had finally showed up and taken very direct action, as shown in the following pic:
Natasha is pretty much in the middle and Ashley is just to the right and below her.
That's all for now. I have to get a little bit of work done before heading to sleepy land.
Thanks for reading!
Bruce (and Michele)
We had intended on catching a ride this morning with someone heading to the Agape offices, but when we got up, there was a car accident about 100 feet away from our front door. It probably occurred around 8AM and the traffic was horrendous. I think what we saw typifies some of the Ukrainian culture of "doing things by the book" (even if "by the book" means lots of waiting around for official things to happen....). Here's a pic of what we saw when we stepped out our door shortly after 8AM:
The gentleman (Eric) who was to drive us to the Agape offices finally arrived after fighting traffic a little after 9AM. By that time, the police had finally showed up and taken very direct action, as shown in the following pic:
Yep...he set up 4 cones around the edge of the vehicle that everyone had to drive around. Basically, an entire lane of traffic was blocked and everyone had to go around the cones, with no assistance from anyone directing traffic. And, they did not move the cars out of the way...not an inch.
The craziest thing was that the trolley buses which run off electricity and have two arms extending from the top of the bus to electric wires suspended over the road, had to stop, get out of the bus, pull the arms off the wires on the right side of the street, move them over temporarily to the wires on the left side of the street, get back in the bus and drive around the accident, then get out and do it all over again...in reverse. Here's a pic to give you an idea:
Here you can see the driver pulling the arms down off the right-hand wires and pulling them over to the left-hand wires. Needless to say, traffic was still snarled when we left at 9:15AM.
We enjoyed spending some time with Sasha and learning about his heart for the orphans in Ukraine. His ministry, Agape, has staff who go into orphanages in several regions of Ukraine, and teach Bible classes. Sasha works with the orphanage directors to make these Bible classes mandatory because, as he said, "If you make it optional, only 1 out of 20 kids will come. When it is mandatory, they may grumble at coming, but after a while they learn to enjoy it, and many have come to know Jesus through the process." Sasha is looking for a family to come to Ukraine for a couple of years to work with these orphanages, specifically in developing more programs in more orphanages throughout Ukraine. If you're interested, let us know and we'll get you in contact with Sasha!! :)
After meeting with Sasha, we did a little bit of shopping at Oskar's (the large department store above the bowling alley) and then headed home. We were waiting to hear from Tanya about any plans for the day. Finally, after lunch, she called and said she would be at the orphanage around 2:00 and we should come as well.
When we arrived, Pasha was there and we walked with him to Roman's (the orphanage lawyer) office. Natasha was still in class as she has 8 classes and is in school until 3:40. We sat with Pasha for a while and used the new translation software I downloaded earlier today from PROMT. I spent quite a bit of time looking for something that could be entirely installed on my laptop and would work without using a service that depended on a connection to the internet. PROMT appears to work very well and I have a 30 day trial to run it through its paces.
The tool worked pretty well. The only problem is that I had not loaded the Russian language add-on for Windows, so we could only do English->Russian translations. This still was fun, and allowed us to ask Pasha some questions without having the translator there to help us.
Natasha arrived in Roman's office, along with both Natasha and Pasha's primary caregivers. Then we were called to Nikolai's office (the orphanage director). We sat around a table while Nikolai oversaw the procedings. We did not know (Tanya had not told us), but we were there to witness the signing of all the papers the orphanage is required to provide to the inspector's office. This includes the papers that both Natasha and Pasha sign, saying they are OK with us adopting them, as well as the paper Jana was to sign, refusing the adoption and OK-ing the separation with Natasha.
Natasha and Pasha signed their papers, and both looked a little nervous, as if they were thinking, "I sure hope I'm doing the right thing!". Then Jana walked in and sat down next to me to sign her papers. Roman read the words on the paper to her and we all waited for her to sign. She sat there for about 10 seconds, and you could just sense that this was not going to happen. Then, she pushed her chair back, and as she wiped the tears from her eyes, walked out of the office. We pretty much all sat stunned in our chairs as the caregivers and Roman went out to figure out what was going on.
So here we were, with one set of papers to be signed, all looking at each other, wondering what to do. We eased the tension a bit by giving Nikolai the picture of Ashley and the Volf's that Kari had given us. He enjoyed seeing it (I think...). Then he proceeded to tell a fairly lengthy story of an adoption that had gone wrong... AFter about 45 minutes and multiple phone calls to find out where Jana was, the decision was finally made to leave Nikolai's office and allow Jana to (hopefully) sign the papers without all of us staring at her.
We made our way back to Roman's office and waited. About 30 or 45 minutes later, Roman came in with a look of relief on his face, and told us that not only had Jana signed the papers, but Nikolai had as well!! So, we had the two signatures that we needed and all the paperwork from the orphanage so that we could "officially" start the process tomorrow. Thank you, thank you, for your prayers. Michele says that she "smiled the Holy Spirit" at Nikolai, and that's what did him in!! It could very well be true.
Tomorrow Tanya will head to the Inspector's office and then to the notary and hopefully to court to get things going. There are still hurdles ahead, especially with the early separation of siblings and the "mess" of Pasha's papers, so don't stop praying!
We have more stories to tell, but this has gone on long enough. OK, maybe one more. When we were at the Agape offices, we were standing in the hallway waiting for Sasha and I noticed a picture on the wall. Hmm...one of those faces looks familiar. Sure enough, it was Natasha. A closer look revealed that Ashley was in the pic as well. This was a pic from 3-4 years ago at a camp that Agape put on and that Natasha and Ashley attended. It's a very small world, indeed. The exciting thing is that we hope and pray that seeds of faith were planted in both girls. Here's a pic of the pic:
Natasha is pretty much in the middle and Ashley is just to the right and below her.That's all for now. I have to get a little bit of work done before heading to sleepy land.
Thanks for reading!
Bruce (and Michele)
Acid-Wash and Mullets
I'm waiting for the kids to be done with school and for once Bruce is not on the computer :-).
I think the title of my entry says it all. We are so far out of style here( thankfully) people stare at us. I tell them in English ,"This is acctually slightly cute at home, people said they like my shoes just before we left."
Pasha's mini-mullet is kind of cute on him, then again, maybe after the dentist we could find a hair place.
Bruce downloaded some Russian/English translator on his computer. I'll let you know how it works out after todays visit.
Signed,
Hungry in Ukraine
I think the title of my entry says it all. We are so far out of style here( thankfully) people stare at us. I tell them in English ,"This is acctually slightly cute at home, people said they like my shoes just before we left."
Pasha's mini-mullet is kind of cute on him, then again, maybe after the dentist we could find a hair place.
Bruce downloaded some Russian/English translator on his computer. I'll let you know how it works out after todays visit.
Signed,
Hungry in Ukraine
Monday, September 28, 2009
The Ups....the Downs....
We were so tired from our full day out on Sunday that we actually slept in past 8AM this morning. When we left Tanya on Sunday, she said she was going to the orphanage Monday morning to work with Roman (the orphanage lawyer) and get the documents signed by Jana. She told us to expect a call from her sometime after 11AM on next steps.
She called to let us know that the orphanage director (Nikolai) was not willing to sign the documents as it is "not the way it should be done." She apparently continued the discussion with Roman and Nikolai most of the morning and called again to have us come to the orphanage around 2PM. We met her there, and also greeted Roman and Nikolai. While Nikolai had not yet agreed to sign the papers, he had softened a little and allowed Tanya to have the kids' birth certificates. This was important since we needed them to go to the notary and actually start part of the paperwork process, instead of waiting around sitting on our hands.
So, we left the orphanage without seeing the kids, since they were still in school, and headed to the notary (right behind Cafe More for those who know Kherson... :). When we arrived, we realized that we needed our passports, which we did not have, so I headed back to the Bible House on the bus to get them. When I returned, Michele and Tanya were sitting outside having a cup of coffee at the cafe, and after giving the passports to the notary, we sat down to wait.
We waited at least an hour and a half, maybe more, sometimes I lose track of time when sitting around doing nothing. Then we were ready to sign the first of many documents. These were the basic documents saying that we are officially asking to adopt Natasha and Pasha, and these we could do without having Nikolai's signature on the separation documents from Jana.
One thing we were able to do while waiting was to pop into an internet cafe and have quick chats with all three of the kids back in Colorado. That was refreshing and we were so happy to have had that opportunity. They are being well cared for, but we still miss them!
So, by around 5PM, we were finally done there and Tanya headed to the inspector's office to do some more work and we headed back to Bible House. We got back to Bible House and I ended up working for quite a while and then we headed back to Cafe More for dinner. We had told Natasha and Pasha yesterday that we likely would not see them today as we didn't know what our schedule was. And it turned out to be a good "heads up" since we spent most of the morning waiting for Tanya's call and then most of the afternoon waiting with Tanya at the notary's office. We will definitely see them tomorrow again.
Serge from the Bible House brought up two New Testaments last night, which are Russian/English. We will give these to the kids tomorrow when we see them in the afternoon.
Oh, one other thing. We learned today that, besides the issue with Jana, Natasha's papers are in good order. Pasha's papers, on the other hand, to use Tanya's words, "Are a mess." There are some problems that she will likely have to travel to another region about 200K away to correct. This could add a few days... :( However, she is still hopeful that we will be able to get through this process (assuming Nikolai signs Jana's release papers) in time for Michele to come home on the 16th of October.
So, here we are again, continuing to need your prayers. I think God is bringing new meaning to the idea of "praying constantly", which is actually a good thing! Tanya is hopeful that Nikolai will sign Jana's release papers tomorrow. Please pray that God would prick his heart to do so. Please also pray that "the mess" of Pasha's papers can be squared away quickly and not cause too much delay.
We miss Abigail, Bradley and Benjamin terribly and want to give this process a kick in the pants as best we can so that at least Michele can get back home to be with them.
That's it for now. Hopefully, we'll provide more good news tomorrow!
Bruce & Michele
She called to let us know that the orphanage director (Nikolai) was not willing to sign the documents as it is "not the way it should be done." She apparently continued the discussion with Roman and Nikolai most of the morning and called again to have us come to the orphanage around 2PM. We met her there, and also greeted Roman and Nikolai. While Nikolai had not yet agreed to sign the papers, he had softened a little and allowed Tanya to have the kids' birth certificates. This was important since we needed them to go to the notary and actually start part of the paperwork process, instead of waiting around sitting on our hands.
So, we left the orphanage without seeing the kids, since they were still in school, and headed to the notary (right behind Cafe More for those who know Kherson... :). When we arrived, we realized that we needed our passports, which we did not have, so I headed back to the Bible House on the bus to get them. When I returned, Michele and Tanya were sitting outside having a cup of coffee at the cafe, and after giving the passports to the notary, we sat down to wait.
We waited at least an hour and a half, maybe more, sometimes I lose track of time when sitting around doing nothing. Then we were ready to sign the first of many documents. These were the basic documents saying that we are officially asking to adopt Natasha and Pasha, and these we could do without having Nikolai's signature on the separation documents from Jana.
One thing we were able to do while waiting was to pop into an internet cafe and have quick chats with all three of the kids back in Colorado. That was refreshing and we were so happy to have had that opportunity. They are being well cared for, but we still miss them!
So, by around 5PM, we were finally done there and Tanya headed to the inspector's office to do some more work and we headed back to Bible House. We got back to Bible House and I ended up working for quite a while and then we headed back to Cafe More for dinner. We had told Natasha and Pasha yesterday that we likely would not see them today as we didn't know what our schedule was. And it turned out to be a good "heads up" since we spent most of the morning waiting for Tanya's call and then most of the afternoon waiting with Tanya at the notary's office. We will definitely see them tomorrow again.
Serge from the Bible House brought up two New Testaments last night, which are Russian/English. We will give these to the kids tomorrow when we see them in the afternoon.
Oh, one other thing. We learned today that, besides the issue with Jana, Natasha's papers are in good order. Pasha's papers, on the other hand, to use Tanya's words, "Are a mess." There are some problems that she will likely have to travel to another region about 200K away to correct. This could add a few days... :( However, she is still hopeful that we will be able to get through this process (assuming Nikolai signs Jana's release papers) in time for Michele to come home on the 16th of October.
So, here we are again, continuing to need your prayers. I think God is bringing new meaning to the idea of "praying constantly", which is actually a good thing! Tanya is hopeful that Nikolai will sign Jana's release papers tomorrow. Please pray that God would prick his heart to do so. Please also pray that "the mess" of Pasha's papers can be squared away quickly and not cause too much delay.
We miss Abigail, Bradley and Benjamin terribly and want to give this process a kick in the pants as best we can so that at least Michele can get back home to be with them.
That's it for now. Hopefully, we'll provide more good news tomorrow!
Bruce & Michele
Sunday, September 27, 2009
What a day!
Sorry for not posting yesterday. We had a very long day and were too blitzed to blog when all was done at about 9:30PM last night.
We were able to meet Pasha and Natasha for church Sunday morning. We were there at 8:30AM and we had to run to meet the bus because we were waiting for them in the wrong part of the orphanage. Pasha's caregiver was none too happy about having to run to meet the bus. Tanya (our facilitator) met us as well to help with translation, and she told us after we all got on the bus that the caregiver told her that Pasha is actually her favorite and a good boy. That was pretty funny to hear after the scolding she gave him!
We're still not quite sure what church we went to! It was a "Christian Church" (Tanya thought it was a Church of Christ), but realistically, we didn't understand a word for the two hours we were there. We did understand a couple of songs ("Great is Thy Faithfulness" and a version of "Holy, Holy, Holy") and while everyone else sang in Russian, I sang in English (quietly, of course).
I think Pasha normally goes to a youth service during the main service, but he and Natasha stayed with us. I think Natasha was just too nervous to go do something new, since she does not typically go to church. Even when we saw Zina up front waving to Natasha to come with and Natasha smiled in recognition, she chose to stay with us, as did Pasha.
Tanya did not stay for church but before leaving confirmed that we could stay with the kids and take them out to lunch. So, after church, as we were walking to the bus stop, Michele decided to call Oksana, a friend of Heidi and Felix's whom we met at the Bible House a couple nights before. I may have mentioned earlier that Oksana was at the same orphanage as Natasha and Pasha here in Kherson. Through a sad set of circumstances, she has aged out (she is now 19 years old), but in the process has become a strong believer in Jesus and a real shining light. She is currently going to the university her in Kherson and just learned that next year she will be going to a Bible college in England where she will also continue to study English. But her heart is for Ukraine and she will be coming back.
Anyway, Oksana happened to be going to church just a block or so away, and was happy to meet with us and go to lunch. Well, she was a life-saver for the day as she speaks English very well and was able to help us communicate with the kids. And when I say, "for the day", it was the entire day! Here's a pic of Oksana, Pasha and Natasha:
We were able to meet Pasha and Natasha for church Sunday morning. We were there at 8:30AM and we had to run to meet the bus because we were waiting for them in the wrong part of the orphanage. Pasha's caregiver was none too happy about having to run to meet the bus. Tanya (our facilitator) met us as well to help with translation, and she told us after we all got on the bus that the caregiver told her that Pasha is actually her favorite and a good boy. That was pretty funny to hear after the scolding she gave him!
We're still not quite sure what church we went to! It was a "Christian Church" (Tanya thought it was a Church of Christ), but realistically, we didn't understand a word for the two hours we were there. We did understand a couple of songs ("Great is Thy Faithfulness" and a version of "Holy, Holy, Holy") and while everyone else sang in Russian, I sang in English (quietly, of course).
I think Pasha normally goes to a youth service during the main service, but he and Natasha stayed with us. I think Natasha was just too nervous to go do something new, since she does not typically go to church. Even when we saw Zina up front waving to Natasha to come with and Natasha smiled in recognition, she chose to stay with us, as did Pasha.
Tanya did not stay for church but before leaving confirmed that we could stay with the kids and take them out to lunch. So, after church, as we were walking to the bus stop, Michele decided to call Oksana, a friend of Heidi and Felix's whom we met at the Bible House a couple nights before. I may have mentioned earlier that Oksana was at the same orphanage as Natasha and Pasha here in Kherson. Through a sad set of circumstances, she has aged out (she is now 19 years old), but in the process has become a strong believer in Jesus and a real shining light. She is currently going to the university her in Kherson and just learned that next year she will be going to a Bible college in England where she will also continue to study English. But her heart is for Ukraine and she will be coming back.
Anyway, Oksana happened to be going to church just a block or so away, and was happy to meet with us and go to lunch. Well, she was a life-saver for the day as she speaks English very well and was able to help us communicate with the kids. And when I say, "for the day", it was the entire day! Here's a pic of Oksana, Pasha and Natasha:
We went downtown and had lunch at Zeppelin's which was excellent. The kids ate 'til they were full, as did we all. Then we walked around through a park in the downtown area and had delicious ice cream cones, which were on sale! The Dutchman in me really came out when I saw that I could get 3 scoops for the price of 2!! So, 3 scoops for everyone!
After the ice cream cones we walked a ways to a place where there's a beautiful overlook of the Dnipr river (not sure if I have the spelling right). Then we decided that we should head over to Oskar's for some fun and a little bit of shopping. But before doing so, we were nervous that we were going to get in trouble from Pasha's and Natasha's caregivers for keeping the kids after lunch. So we had Natasha call and ask if it would be OK to keep them longer. "No problem. Just have the home by 7PM." (My translation of course.)
Oskar's is a fairly large shopping center which has shops and games and even bowling on the main floor and then a large grocery/department store on the second floor. We took the bus over there and bowled for an hour. That was pretty hilarious! By that time, Oksana and Natasha had gotten a hold of the camera so were taking snapshots of everything and everyone. (We probably didn't post that we lost our camera somewhere in Kiev and ended up buying a new one there at City Com, which is the Kiev-equivalent of Circuit City.)
After bowling, we went upstairs and bought the kids some essentials (toothpaste, shampoo, deoderant, hair gel, etc.). Then it was back to the Bible House where we chilled in our room for a while. We showed them the clothes that we brought. Some will fit, others will be too big, but they took them all back to the orphanage to distribute to their room mates/friends. We had a chance to talk alot about the adoption process and timing and their names and all sorts of stuff that probably merits a separate blog entry.
The one funny thing that came up was about the timing of the adoption. I think it was Natasha who asked Oksana about if we would be coming back in a year to take them to America. We explained that, if Jana (pronounced Ya-na) was willing to give her consent, then the process would likely be done by the end of October or early November. If Jana did not feel comfortable giving her consent, then it would probably be sometime in mid- to late-November. They were clearly surprised at this and their eyes opened wide when Oksana explained. Pasha commented that he was excited to be in America for Christmas as he really likes Christmas!
The best part of the afternoon was getting a call from Tanya. She had been in discussion with Roman (the lawyer at the orphanage) and Roman had spoken with Jana. Jana has decided to give her consent! When Natasha heard this, she let out a big sigh of relief and had a big smile on her face. So, Tanya will be meeting with Roman this morning (Monday) to get the papers signed and then we will go with her to a notary to start the process!
After that news, we packed everyone's stuff up and headed back to the orphanage. While there, Michele asked to have a look at Pasha's teeth. He had drawn some blood while using a toothpick after lunch, so Michele was concerned that there may be some issues. Sure enough, he has a fairly large cavity (Michele thinks she pretty much knows what to look for). Oksana knows of a good dental clinic close to the orphanage and Tanya has a friend who is a dentist, so we will make sure we have both Natasha and Pasha check out this week.
We said our good nights and told them we would probably see them on Tuesday, since we did not know what Monday's schedule looked like.
After leaving, Oksana came back to the Bible House with us and I helped her out a bit with a PowerPoint presentation she had to get done that night. She was very thankful to have it done (and not have to go to an internet cafe and spend grivna to do it!) and I was happy to help out. By the time she was done and we had her PowerPoint saved to her USB stick, it was after 9PM. We said our good-byes and Michele and I happily landed in bed for a good night's sleep.
We woke up this morning about 8AM and both feel pretty refreshed. Tanya will be calling us sometime later this morning to let us know the schedule for the day. Until then, I'm going to get some work done and Michele is busy doing something in the room.
Thanks for all your prayers! Keep praying, in particular that we would not encounter any further glitches as a result of Jana giving consent even though she is less than 18 years old. This all still has to be approvied by 2 judges, so pray that there would be no "hassle" with that.
We'll post more tonight.
Thanks again,
Bruce and Michele
Saturday, September 26, 2009
post by Michele
Nothing really new to report..I'm actually trying to stay awake for a bit longer.
We saw the kids today. We played frisbee, soccer and threw the football around . I made some earrings with Natasha and Pasha tried his hand at one. Later I thought " Great now I've used all our non-verbal fun things in one day!" I'm sure we will figure out some more activities.
We are going to try and go to church where Pasha has been going with a few boys. We aren't sure the caregiver for that day will let us take them..or even let us go with them. Pasha says this person can be unpredictable. I'll let you know.
I'm the slowest typist in the world so... that took about half an hour, time for bed
We saw the kids today. We played frisbee, soccer and threw the football around . I made some earrings with Natasha and Pasha tried his hand at one. Later I thought " Great now I've used all our non-verbal fun things in one day!" I'm sure we will figure out some more activities.
We are going to try and go to church where Pasha has been going with a few boys. We aren't sure the caregiver for that day will let us take them..or even let us go with them. Pasha says this person can be unpredictable. I'll let you know.
I'm the slowest typist in the world so... that took about half an hour, time for bed
Friday, September 25, 2009
In Kherson...Day 1
We had a "quick" train ride from Kiev to Kherson last night. Apparently we were on the "express", as we left Kiev around 8:30PM and arrived in Kherson at 5:50AM. There wasn't a whole lot of sleep that happened on the train, but we both had our own sleeping areas and did our best.
Tanya picked us up at the train station and took us to the Bible House where we will be staying for the near term. Serge was there and let us in at 6AM! We quickly found the room and tried to sleep for a couple of hours before Tanya came back to pick us up for our appointment with the regional inspector.
That appointment went well. We showed her the pics of Ashley and Josh that the Volf's sent along and she remembered that process very well. We left the photo album with her and she really appreciated that.
We answered a few questions for the folks in this office and had some additional discussion about Natasha's sister Jana. There was (and is) some concern about how to handle the fact that Jana will be 18 and unadoptable in just a few weeks, but until then legally may not be separated from her sister. We have heard all along that Jana does not want to be adopted, she has a boyfriend in the army and wants to stay in Ukraine. So, the plan was simply to go to the orphanage and meet up with everyone and figure out the next steps.
We arrived at the orphanage and walked into the "lawyer's" office (Roman) and there were Natasha and Pasha sitting on the couch. We were introduced and they both gave nervous smiles. We made some small talk with Roman and Tanya and the kids and then Jana walked in as well. Clearly she was upset and had been crying. We did not know what to think, but we just decided to forge ahead.
Jana only lasted a few minutes before she got up and asked Roman if she could leave. Roman said she needed to leave to calm down. Then a discussion ensued that was not something we had anticipated.
Apparently, yesterday Jana had spoken with both Roman and Oksana (a former orphan at the Kherson orphanage who aged out a short time ago and now helps out with some intrepeting and is a good friend of Heid and Felix's) and clearly said that she did not want to be adopted. But today seemed to be a different story. Shortly after this, Nikolai, the orphanage director came in and was a little upset that we had not reviewed all the papers before actually meeting the children. So they were whisked off back to class and we reviewed all their files.
After finishing the review of the files, Jana came back in with Roman. They had apparently just had a conversation during which Jana wanted to talk with us about "possibilities". It was a very difficult moment, since basically we were asked point blank if we had ever had any intention of adopting Jana (since we had a referral for her from the SDA). By this time Jana was shedding a few tears as was Michele, but we said that we did not believe it was in our family's best interest to adopt a child of Jana's age. In fact, our social worker in the states recommended that we not adopt older than our oldest bio children.
It was a bit of a heart-wrenching moment since we never ever wanted to have to tell a child that we did not want to adopt him/her. But here we were, essentially doing just that. However, beyond our own personal convictions about the age(s) of the children we are looking to adopt, the timing of her 18th birthday in October would make it impossible to complete the process of adopting her before she became "unadoptable". A true catch-22.
Jana left the office and we stayed around to discuss our options. Phone calls were made and discussions occurred. We made another trip back to the inspector's office where Tanya discussed the possibilities with the inspector and her colleagues. Then we went to lunch and chatted.
So, we basically have two options: 1) If Jana will sign a letter refusing the referral for adoption and sign a letter agreeing to separate from her younger sister, then the likelihood is that we can continue the current process now. As of the end of today, Jana was not ready or willing to sign either document, so we will just give her some time over this weekend to see if she can figure things out on her own. Also, there are still potential glitches in this option as this separation has to be approved by the local judge and apparently by the judge in the region where the girls were originally turned over to the state (a different region than Kherson). This brings us to option 2) We could simply come home now and come back at the end of October when Jana is 18 and not adoptable. On the surface this seems like the only sure-fire option, but we have many questions about the logistics of how it will work and, obviously the additional costs of getting Michele and I both back here again. So, we will discuss this more over the weekend and hopefully have some clearer direction on Monday.
After all of these discussions and our lunch with Tanya, we headed back to the orphanage to hang out with Natasha and Pasha. We immediately met up with Pasha but it took a while to find Natasha. We went back into Roman's office and when Natasha arrived she was clearly upset. We didn't know why and she really wasn't ready to talk, so we just sat next to her and tried to comfort her and let her know that we would do whatever it takes to make this happen. It took a while, but after the 4 of us (Michele, Natasha, Pasha and I) left the office for a walk around the grounds and up to their rooms, Pasha actually was able to get Natasha to open up a bit and her mood certainly lightened.
We saw both their rooms and the 4 of us sat with Tanya and talked about many things for about an hour or so. Then Natasha had to leave for Italian class and Pasha for dinner, so we gave hugs all around and parted until tomorrow.
Michele and I walked back to the Bible House, then to dinner and grabbed some groceries. I did a bit of work and answered emails from my colleagues and clients. Now we're ready to get some sleep.
We'll be back at the orphanage to hang with the kids tomorrow afternoon with Tanya. If you would, please pray specifically for the following:
Tanya picked us up at the train station and took us to the Bible House where we will be staying for the near term. Serge was there and let us in at 6AM! We quickly found the room and tried to sleep for a couple of hours before Tanya came back to pick us up for our appointment with the regional inspector.
That appointment went well. We showed her the pics of Ashley and Josh that the Volf's sent along and she remembered that process very well. We left the photo album with her and she really appreciated that.
We answered a few questions for the folks in this office and had some additional discussion about Natasha's sister Jana. There was (and is) some concern about how to handle the fact that Jana will be 18 and unadoptable in just a few weeks, but until then legally may not be separated from her sister. We have heard all along that Jana does not want to be adopted, she has a boyfriend in the army and wants to stay in Ukraine. So, the plan was simply to go to the orphanage and meet up with everyone and figure out the next steps.
We arrived at the orphanage and walked into the "lawyer's" office (Roman) and there were Natasha and Pasha sitting on the couch. We were introduced and they both gave nervous smiles. We made some small talk with Roman and Tanya and the kids and then Jana walked in as well. Clearly she was upset and had been crying. We did not know what to think, but we just decided to forge ahead.
Jana only lasted a few minutes before she got up and asked Roman if she could leave. Roman said she needed to leave to calm down. Then a discussion ensued that was not something we had anticipated.
Apparently, yesterday Jana had spoken with both Roman and Oksana (a former orphan at the Kherson orphanage who aged out a short time ago and now helps out with some intrepeting and is a good friend of Heid and Felix's) and clearly said that she did not want to be adopted. But today seemed to be a different story. Shortly after this, Nikolai, the orphanage director came in and was a little upset that we had not reviewed all the papers before actually meeting the children. So they were whisked off back to class and we reviewed all their files.
After finishing the review of the files, Jana came back in with Roman. They had apparently just had a conversation during which Jana wanted to talk with us about "possibilities". It was a very difficult moment, since basically we were asked point blank if we had ever had any intention of adopting Jana (since we had a referral for her from the SDA). By this time Jana was shedding a few tears as was Michele, but we said that we did not believe it was in our family's best interest to adopt a child of Jana's age. In fact, our social worker in the states recommended that we not adopt older than our oldest bio children.
It was a bit of a heart-wrenching moment since we never ever wanted to have to tell a child that we did not want to adopt him/her. But here we were, essentially doing just that. However, beyond our own personal convictions about the age(s) of the children we are looking to adopt, the timing of her 18th birthday in October would make it impossible to complete the process of adopting her before she became "unadoptable". A true catch-22.
Jana left the office and we stayed around to discuss our options. Phone calls were made and discussions occurred. We made another trip back to the inspector's office where Tanya discussed the possibilities with the inspector and her colleagues. Then we went to lunch and chatted.
So, we basically have two options: 1) If Jana will sign a letter refusing the referral for adoption and sign a letter agreeing to separate from her younger sister, then the likelihood is that we can continue the current process now. As of the end of today, Jana was not ready or willing to sign either document, so we will just give her some time over this weekend to see if she can figure things out on her own. Also, there are still potential glitches in this option as this separation has to be approved by the local judge and apparently by the judge in the region where the girls were originally turned over to the state (a different region than Kherson). This brings us to option 2) We could simply come home now and come back at the end of October when Jana is 18 and not adoptable. On the surface this seems like the only sure-fire option, but we have many questions about the logistics of how it will work and, obviously the additional costs of getting Michele and I both back here again. So, we will discuss this more over the weekend and hopefully have some clearer direction on Monday.
After all of these discussions and our lunch with Tanya, we headed back to the orphanage to hang out with Natasha and Pasha. We immediately met up with Pasha but it took a while to find Natasha. We went back into Roman's office and when Natasha arrived she was clearly upset. We didn't know why and she really wasn't ready to talk, so we just sat next to her and tried to comfort her and let her know that we would do whatever it takes to make this happen. It took a while, but after the 4 of us (Michele, Natasha, Pasha and I) left the office for a walk around the grounds and up to their rooms, Pasha actually was able to get Natasha to open up a bit and her mood certainly lightened.
We saw both their rooms and the 4 of us sat with Tanya and talked about many things for about an hour or so. Then Natasha had to leave for Italian class and Pasha for dinner, so we gave hugs all around and parted until tomorrow.
Michele and I walked back to the Bible House, then to dinner and grabbed some groceries. I did a bit of work and answered emails from my colleagues and clients. Now we're ready to get some sleep.
We'll be back at the orphanage to hang with the kids tomorrow afternoon with Tanya. If you would, please pray specifically for the following:
- That Michele and I would have clear direction on our next steps after the weekend. We are both much more at ease after having spent time with Natasha and Pasha, but there are clearly decisions about the proccess and next steps that we will have to make.
- That Jana would be comfortable with the decision she has to make this weekend and that God would touch her heart. We want to make it clear that we will do our best to stay in contact with her and allow her to stay in contact with Natasha if she wants and even help her to come to the US for studies or visits.
- That Natasha would not be anxious, that God would bless her with a calm heart and that she would know that we will do what we need to do to continue the adoption process with her and Pasha.
Well, sorry for the long post. Time to hit the sack. Here's a pic of the 4 of us in Natasha's room/sitting area:
More tomorrow.
Bruce and Michele
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