In Kherson...Day 1

We had a "quick" train ride from Kiev to Kherson last night. Apparently we were on the "express", as we left Kiev around 8:30PM and arrived in Kherson at 5:50AM. There wasn't a whole lot of sleep that happened on the train, but we both had our own sleeping areas and did our best.

Tanya picked us up at the train station and took us to the Bible House where we will be staying for the near term. Serge was there and let us in at 6AM! We quickly found the room and tried to sleep for a couple of hours before Tanya came back to pick us up for our appointment with the regional inspector.

That appointment went well. We showed her the pics of Ashley and Josh that the Volf's sent along and she remembered that process very well. We left the photo album with her and she really appreciated that.

We answered a few questions for the folks in this office and had some additional discussion about Natasha's sister Jana. There was (and is) some concern about how to handle the fact that Jana will be 18 and unadoptable in just a few weeks, but until then legally may not be separated from her sister. We have heard all along that Jana does not want to be adopted, she has a boyfriend in the army and wants to stay in Ukraine. So, the plan was simply to go to the orphanage and meet up with everyone and figure out the next steps.

We arrived at the orphanage and walked into the "lawyer's" office (Roman) and there were Natasha and Pasha sitting on the couch. We were introduced and they both gave nervous smiles. We made some small talk with Roman and Tanya and the kids and then Jana walked in as well. Clearly she was upset and had been crying. We did not know what to think, but we just decided to forge ahead.

Jana only lasted a few minutes before she got up and asked Roman if she could leave. Roman said she needed to leave to calm down. Then a discussion ensued that was not something we had anticipated.

Apparently, yesterday Jana had spoken with both Roman and Oksana (a former orphan at the Kherson orphanage who aged out a short time ago and now helps out with some intrepeting and is a good friend of Heid and Felix's) and clearly said that she did not want to be adopted. But today seemed to be a different story. Shortly after this, Nikolai, the orphanage director came in and was a little upset that we had not reviewed all the papers before actually meeting the children. So they were whisked off back to class and we reviewed all their files.

After finishing the review of the files, Jana came back in with Roman. They had apparently just had a conversation during which Jana wanted to talk with us about "possibilities". It was a very difficult moment, since basically we were asked point blank if we had ever had any intention of adopting Jana (since we had a referral for her from the SDA). By this time Jana was shedding a few tears as was Michele, but we said that we did not believe it was in our family's best interest to adopt a child of Jana's age. In fact, our social worker in the states recommended that we not adopt older than our oldest bio children.

It was a bit of a heart-wrenching moment since we never ever wanted to have to tell a child that we did not want to adopt him/her. But here we were, essentially doing just that. However, beyond our own personal convictions about the age(s) of the children we are looking to adopt, the timing of her 18th birthday in October would make it impossible to complete the process of adopting her before she became "unadoptable". A true catch-22.

Jana left the office and we stayed around to discuss our options. Phone calls were made and discussions occurred. We made another trip back to the inspector's office where Tanya discussed the possibilities with the inspector and her colleagues. Then we went to lunch and chatted.

So, we basically have two options: 1) If Jana will sign a letter refusing the referral for adoption and sign a letter agreeing to separate from her younger sister, then the likelihood is that we can continue the current process now. As of the end of today, Jana was not ready or willing to sign either document, so we will just give her some time over this weekend to see if she can figure things out on her own. Also, there are still potential glitches in this option as this separation has to be approved by the local judge and apparently by the judge in the region where the girls were originally turned over to the state (a different region than Kherson). This brings us to option 2) We could simply come home now and come back at the end of October when Jana is 18 and not adoptable. On the surface this seems like the only sure-fire option, but we have many questions about the logistics of how it will work and, obviously the additional costs of getting Michele and I both back here again. So, we will discuss this more over the weekend and hopefully have some clearer direction on Monday.

After all of these discussions and our lunch with Tanya, we headed back to the orphanage to hang out with Natasha and Pasha. We immediately met up with Pasha but it took a while to find Natasha. We went back into Roman's office and when Natasha arrived she was clearly upset. We didn't know why and she really wasn't ready to talk, so we just sat next to her and tried to comfort her and let her know that we would do whatever it takes to make this happen. It took a while, but after the 4 of us (Michele, Natasha, Pasha and I) left the office for a walk around the grounds and up to their rooms, Pasha actually was able to get Natasha to open up a bit and her mood certainly lightened.

We saw both their rooms and the 4 of us sat with Tanya and talked about many things for about an hour or so. Then Natasha had to leave for Italian class and Pasha for dinner, so we gave hugs all around and parted until tomorrow.

Michele and I walked back to the Bible House, then to dinner and grabbed some groceries. I did a bit of work and answered emails from my colleagues and clients. Now we're ready to get some sleep.

We'll be back at the orphanage to hang with the kids tomorrow afternoon with Tanya. If you would, please pray specifically for the following:

1. That Michele and I would have clear direction on our next steps after the weekend. We are both much more at ease after having spent time with Natasha and Pasha, but there are clearly decisions about the proccess and next steps that we will have to make.
   


2. That Jana would be comfortable with the decision she has to make this weekend and that God would touch her heart. We want to make it clear that we will do our best to stay in contact with her and allow her to stay in contact with Natasha if she wants and even help her to come to the US for studies or visits.
   


3. That Natasha would not be anxious, that God would bless her with a calm heart and that she would know that we will do what we need to do to continue the adoption process with her and Pasha.

Well, sorry for the long post. Time to hit the sack. Here's a pic of the 4 of us in Natasha's room/sitting area:

More tomorrow.

Bruce and Michele